Across our planet there’s a species that embodies hope, opportunity and the sheer destructive power of a hurricane. Every day they walk our halls their threat undetected. The monsters are free and this summer they’ll be home breaking your vases, running up your tab at local pizzerias and forgetting to empty your trash.  As grave as this threat is all hope is not lost. You can protect yourselves with the applications mentioned in this week’s Windows Phone App Flow, you can save yourself from — The Children.


It’s often been said that the best way to escape and enemy is to confound him. Why not confound your youngster with the Pandora’s Box that is learning to tie one’s shoes. What’s even better is that with MSiCCDev’s I learn to tie my shoes you don’t even have to bother trying to teach them.  The app includes helpful rhymes, a very nice visual tutorial and a step by step guy to insuring that your the shoes you just paid $60 for won’t need a new pair of laces anytime soon. The app will set you back $.99, however we think that’s a small price to pay for some piece of mind.


Confusion may work for those with infestations of a young age but for those who are a little older won’t be fooled. For these individuals I suggest amusement. Max and the Magic Marker has always been a favorite of mine. While being a platformer, you are given the opportunity to stop the game in mid play and use the marker to assist you in obstacles of various difficulties. How do I know it will keep those playing tied up for hours? I once spent an entire car ride playing it and did not realize that said car was actually parked. Yeah, it’s that good and at $.99 you’ll still be able to afford to send them off to camp if the plan should fail.


If all else has failed, or if your invader happens to be a teenager, I offer the following as a last resort. Sbachthaler’s Bartender should only be used in the case of extreme emergency only on those who are of the proper age. It will provide you with the courage you need to not lock them away in a broom closet with hopes that they’ll be sent to Hogwarts soon. A recent update has added the ability to look up ingredients and portion sizes so that your friends can also be saved from the threat to their sanity caused by The Children. Bartender will set you back $1.29 in the Windows Phone Marketplace.

And so you have it ladies and gentleman, the ultimate Windows Phone tool kit to save you from The Children menace. These are the best tools we can offer but in the end it’s up to you to defend yourselves. Be brave. Be bold. More importantly, be steadfast in your resistance to their powers of seduction. If you’ve found anything that works better, drop me a message on Twitter username: harlemS.

We’ll catch you on the other side!